A
Note About These Paintings And My Chamber Music America Composition
Commission I
do not pretend to be a visual artist or painter but what I am
is a creative artist. The following description details the
process at how these panels arrived in my basement in the middle
of March. I hope it gives a glimmer into the creative process,
turning off the inner critic, perseverance, and believing in
one's own abilities:
One
day I went and saw the movie Pollock with my wife. Rent
it! It was inspiring. Why? Not because it showed some drunk
splashing paint on a canvas and selling them for exorbitant
prices. Hogwash! If all the stories and legends were true then
we'd all be rich by now. Jackson Pollock was certainly
controversial but one thing the movie evidenced, and I believe
accurately so, was that he arrived at his method after difficult
transitions and inner wrangling. If anything, his later works
were not improvised as largely thought. Pollock himself talked
about the focus and deliberateness of his work. Once you begin
to observe his work, without using typical silly clichés
like a "kindergartner could do this", a more profound
appreciation is achieved.
In
any event, I could not get any of this movie out of my mind,
especially the scene where Pollock broods and depresses over
the mural he must design for Peggy Guggenheim and then proceeds
to create it in a fit of creative rage, almost overnight. I
thought to myself, "what if I try this?" The answer
was go for it! Now I know have zero artistic training, except
back in sixth and seventh grade, but what I do have is a compositional
ability, an artistic sensibility, intense focus, and organizational
skills. I have never studied formally and have never tried something
like this since. In short, it was a one time deal. I hopped
in my car and the lovely Kim at Art Things in Annapolis
helped me pick out my supplies. My pre-requisite was that they
be cheap -- twelve card board panels, basic watercolors, watercolor
crayons, black pens, tissue paper, and a sketch pad.
Then
I proceeded to work. Just for a glorious couple of days, I shut
my inner critic off. I worked almost uninterrupted. I grew tired
but kept on. I had twelve panels and I wanted twelve paintings
so I know I had to live with what I created. I insisted that
they must all be unique and different. I poked holes, strung
things out of them, cut geometric designs, slathered them with
paint, goo, and grease. Well, here they are! Am I a genius?
Hell no!
What
I am is not afraid to create! Are you an excuse maker who fears
taking any risk, large or small? Get over it and be bold for
a change. Who the hell cares what others may think. God forbid,
they might even like and care about what you do. The response
to these paintings has been overwhelmingly positive from skilled
artists and the novice alike. It's the spirit that counts! I
hope this page can be a testament to anyone who needs a creative
boost. Trust yourself. How dare we constantly question our purest
motives and constantly criticize ourselves. These paintings
were created out of sheer joy and in retrospect, about as close
to creative ecstasy as I've ever gotten.
How
do these relate to my Chamber Music America composition? Interestingly,
enough, two magnificent composers with whom I share this award
but don't personally know (Jane Ira Bloom and Phil Markowitz),
have an abiding interest in modern art and Pollock as well.
Coincidence? The centuries old conspiracy to fuse the visual
and musical continues! I am anxious to see what beautiful perspectives
they create.
My
composition, Perceptual Depths, seeks to delve deeply
into how things can be viewed from multiple vantage points.
Like Remedios Varos, the great woman artist, I will ask
myself cosmological and perceptual questions and then in some
untidy and rag tag way, assemble them into musical answers,
which hopefully, will stimulate more questions! It wouldn't
be any fun to solve life's mysteries, now would it. I want to
be confused and perplexed. The search is half the fun!
Well,
enough rambling, as I feebly attempt to explain my world. These
paintings were created with Beginner's Mind. No expectations.
They aren't for sale, sorry! They are personal reminders that
I can, I can, if I just allow myself. So can you.
(Special
thanks to Larry Melton for taking photographs of the paintings
and Kim at Art Things for aiding and abetting my delusions of
grandeur.)
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